Wednesday, August 26, 2009

My Prayer

Although I try to smile, I am crying and dieing inside. I am bound by my pain, my Lord and I ask for your divine intervention. And I thank you for all of these blessings, these mini miracles. Yes, I do see them as mini miracles. I praise you for your wisdom and weight in all matters.

My pain is nothing compared to some. The woman who was raped by six boys/men in Dunbar Village/Florida, well, I pray for her healing as well as her sons. How absolutely horrific! Yes, six succumbed to the hype that is gang life, behavior and follow the leader mentality. Because of all this, for the half hour of heinous behavior, because some boys had a distinct misunderstanding of what manhood represents, their lives will be forever ruined. Their families lives, their poor Mothers lives forever ruined.

Lord, I pray for their mothers. I pray for Justice but for blessings, even in disguise might come from this. How, in the name of such awfulness can we see any blessing? We must for if we do not Satan will have won once again in this scourge against humanity. And I do believe it is Satan in all his folly directing, orchestrating, leading this madness.

We have a right to choose. We have a right to say no but Satan fills their/our heads with lies. Then it is he who laughs as they administer the sentence or their death penalty cocktail. There are no winners in that.

The sidelines will be full for those calling for their blood as their mothers weep tears filled with such burden, such pain. Is there any condolence for these mothers? Is there any reprieve from such?

The very fact that I do believe in the power of prayer, even from the likes of me, someone they have no idea of, they do not even know me or of me but I do pray. I will pray for the victims and they are all victims of such vile hatred, even the accused. I pray for peace that which they may not know. I pray for their calm assurance and for healing.

Lord, I seek your face, I seek your forgiveness, myself. Forgive me for the instant of hatred that I felt as I watched the testimony of the youngest of the Dunbar Six as well as the others. May they know Justice and be reigned in, knocked to their senseless knees so they might seek you out.

Let Satan not win on this one. Let something, anything good to come from all this. I beg you sweet sweet Jesus and I humbly ask for even this prayer to be heard. Take away the victims pain, both Mother and son and allow them to heal. This would be your finest hour. In Jesus name I ask all this. Amen

Monday, August 10, 2009

Re-Post; It's Not A Mistake Any More

Psalm 19:12-14

Well folks, they handed down the verdict...I'm a sinner. Each and every day I stand a real good chance of sinning and,"the wages of sin is death."

What can I do? Is there any point in trying? I believe that there is. Why? because Christ Yeshua died on that cross for me and MY sin. Now, knowing this does not give me a license to sin. No, in fact it holds me accountable.

Each and every day and every single night I go to my heavenly Father and ask him once again to wipe the slate clean.
But you can't go to him with lip service because he knows your heart, he knows your sincerity.

We all make mistakes, we all sin but the secret is to try harder to be more like Christ; to treat others as we want to be treated, to forgive as we would want to forgive, to judge as we would want to be judged and have charity for our fellow man. Now, charity and love are one and the same, if you have you should give and always try to see others through God's eyes.

I am three people;

I am who you think I am,

I am who I think I am,

I am who GOD knows I am.

Now, this is pretty basic stuff most of us learned in Sunday school. But how easy we forget these simple rules, how easy we find it to be unforgiving and scornful.
How easy is it to look down your nose at someone else when you know not the root of their reason. And how very easy is it to be selfish. Selfish with our money, time, love, concern, prayers and we find it so easy to be detached and not care.

We don't have time to feel someone else's pain. We don't have time to pray for
that junkie in the street. But we find the time to look down our nose at them. I truly believe with every ounce of my being that if Christ were to walk down the street and see some homeless guy panhandling, I don't think he would yell at him to,"get a job," do you?

Just as well, I don't believe Christ would be hanging out at the Country Club schmoozing and hobnobbing with the rich and talking about his new BMW. Quite frankly, I believe he would be on the streets and in the bars or outside of them trying to help and heal the truly sick, lost souls out there.
Ah, the vastness of the sick and lost and if you were to only open your eyes, you would see them.

I've made so many mistakes and bad choices in my life but I know that God never deserted me through it all. How do I know this? I know because he allowed me to learn from my mistakes. At that point they are no longer mistakes but,

"learning experiences."

Yes, I was humbled when I was arrogant. I was taught empathy when I had none. I was taught to appreciate things when I was stripped of all my worldly possessions. I had to learn all about my false pride and self-will. I had to learn understanding of that which is not known.

I was stripped of my dignity but given a humble blanket to wrap up in. I was given what I needed but not what I wanted in every respect of my life. I was sentenced to death with Hep C but was given a stay of execution. I was taught that you can't
put off getting your affairs in order with Christ Yeshua by waiting till the 11th hour when I almost died at 10:30. But most of all when I had no one,nothing,
nada I was given the greatest gift of all...Faith.


The G-Ma Life #2


My newest Grandbaby, Jaxon, well we think the one can of formula he had, out of the norm may have caused the worst diaper rash I've ever seen in my 50 years on this earth.

It was so bad that we took him to the Doctor only to be given a prescription of Bactroban. Now, I don't want to say this too loud but I do have some med experience and was already using this cream on him. My daughter-in-law did not know the name of the cream when the doctor gave her the script but she was too afraid to say we'd been using it already anyway.

I had tears in my eyes at one point as I wiped his lil' bottom and it bled. He shook in pain, it broke my heart. So, I set about doing what I could to treat it. We were rinsing his bottom off instead of using wipes. We were bathing him and allowing his butt some much needed air time to no avail.

The most important thing I've learned in these 50 years is nothing is too big or too small to pray about. I began to pray...

Back when I was in Prison and having terrible nightmares I'd learned to pray every night. They were bad but me waking up fighting, yelling and carrying on, well needless to say, my celly wasn't real happy about it. So, I'd gone to the prison Chaplain for her to minister to me on these bad dreams. At her suggestion, she told me it would be a good idea to read even a small bit of scripture before retiring. I refer to it now as, "feeding my soul" a snack before bed. She also suggested that I pray before going to sleep.

Well, it worked and I've been doing it every since. No more nightmares, not one. I often fall asleep praying as I did just the other night. I had one of those nights where I think I am awake when I am sleeping and vice versa. Whether I was alseep, is debatable but a couple of hours had passed when I was given the words, I do believe from on High. I was told to go to Jaxon's father and tell him that if he wanted his sons bottom to heal, he would get on his knees and ask.

"Good gravy Lord, but I'm comfy," I remember thinking if I didn't say it out loud. I followed the instruction and went out into the living room where I found my son, Jaxon's Dad, quietly watching T.V. and turned sideways looking at his computer on the end table. He's a night owl as are all my boys.

Now, let me set the pace here; I had religion shoved down my throat big time as a child thus I have done my best not to do the same thing. I have convictions these days that I do not instruct them enough but I do kind of tip toe around it all, not skirting but being mindful of not preaching but sharing. As well, I do not believe I've ever said anything such as this to any one of my sons.

Yes, it was a somewhat whimsical look/quizzical squint, not mockingly but questioning as I told him, "God told me to tell you that if you want Jaxon's butt to get better, you need to get on your knees and pray." I realize now that it is most assuredly a testament to how we tend to repeat things messed up or the message gets changed but, hey, I was half asleep.

The next day, I slept in but when I got up, Halena, Jaxon's Mother exclaimed to me, "Have you seen your grandson's butt?" With one eye open, I stated that I'd not been at that end yet, half laughing. "Well, when you wake up, you'll have to see it."

Again, half asleep because of the rough night before, it took me a few, quite a few actually to gather my thoughts. Halena (DIL) had not heard that I'd delivered a message straight from The Big Guy as she slept the night before.

Several hours passed and Jaxon was handed over to me so his Mom and Dad could go outside to smoke. He was due for a diaper change so I readied myself for the whole affair, you know I got the water temp right on the sink, got a clean diaper, towel, Bactroban and so on. I swallowed hard and took his diaper off...

It was completely healed!!!

Briskly, bare butt baby in hand, I went to find my son. "Did you get on your knees and pray?," I asked, really already knowing the answer. He shot me a look like "well, of course I did" to which I stuck his sons butt in his face. "Look Billy, it's all better now, " I said like some sort of maniac...which I wear very well.

Yes, do have faith cause nothing is too big or too small if you only believe!

Everyone therefore who shall confess Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever shall deny Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven (Mt 10:32,33).

The G-Ma Life #1

I relished the moment, knowing full well it was to come to an end in just two days when I boarded the plane to go back home. This trip to Iowa was my first meeting with my grandbaby, Austen Cody, less than two years old/going on twenty...

Normally, he was running around like his ass was on fire but at the moment, this very minute, he sat calmly on my lap. His smile was huge and bright, dimples daring to speak the words he could not yet say.

He stared and studied my face, looking deeply into my eyes. I remember thinking he is gonna be a ladies man, like his Daddy, Waylon, when he grows up. The moment was surreal, calm, pleasing beyond words...

He then began to trace the lines of my lips with his little finger, ever so gently. It was so touching, my heart skipped a beat...

...and then his finger was unceremoniously rammed up my nose. With an impish but wise grin, he laughed like hell and took off.