Sunday, November 04, 2007

My Prayer

My Lord, I see you working in my life and I know you are there. I ask that you not allow Satan to win here. Stand with me Lord, with me and my family against our adversary.

One door closes and another opens, I see this. Let me always recognize this. Stay with me and my children, bless them and let them know joy.

I had come so far, only to fall so hard. Pick me up my Lord and help me recover. I praise your holy Name and I ask you to forgive me for my fall. I am weak, sick, close to insanity. Take my hand and walk with me, please Lord.

Place your Angels around my babies and watch over their families. None of us can hide our sin, least of all me and I do not want to run. Let me know you have forgiven me so I may rise above this all, this mess.

I need you Lord, I call your Name. I am lost, I have wandered off and I search for my Master. Where are you my Lord? Turn on your light Lord, it is so very dark. I can feel it, it comes for me. Do not allow it to win, please.

You are my only God and it is you, which I seek. I am so lost, please help me, please come for me. Find me Lord and let me know your love, once again. I am ashamed and Satan wants me to stay that way. At least I can recognize this. For whatever reason, you have allowed me to go through all this? You have mapped out my life and I have known this pain, all my life. Why can I not have the joy others have? I ask for your blessings and I ask for wisdom. I can not do this alone, my Lord, I need you. Please come to me now, heavenly Father and save me from this despicable situation.

I am a black sheep but I am your black sheep. I will shout it from the rooftops, that you are my Lord, my only God, the King of all Kings. I beseech you Master, to pull me out of this hole. It is so dark and I feel so alone. I cry out your name, my Lord. Are you there? Please tell me that you've not given up on me. Please tell me you've not just handed me over to the enemy? I am your daughter and yes, I have strayed. Please send your Angels to me and mine. Let me be led by your Spirit and guide me to the light.

This is my darkest hour, please turn on your light, please turn on your light? Amen

6 comments:

THE KING'S SHEPHERD said...

My friend,
May you be encouraged by the Word of our Lord...
1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
Babz, may you not look on your sins as any worse than anyone else's. I am just as much a sinner in need of God's grace as you are.
And the good news for you and I Babz is that we didn't earn God's love and nor can we un-earn it! God loves you and I not because we are obedient to Him or even because we love Him, but He loves us freely. We have nothing to offer Him but our sin, and yet He opens His arms wide and loves us unconditionally! I love one definition for unconditional that I got on dictionary.com, "not contingent; not determined or influenced by someone or something else." You and I don't influence God's love for us! There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING that you or I could ever do that could influence His love for us! No matter how great we think our son is, He will always love us! Babz, as people who have trusted in Christ for the payment of our sin, ALL our sins are forgiven....the ones we have committed in the past, the ones we commit today, and the ones we will commit in the future. Every last one of them, no matter how horrible they are, have been paid for on the cross!
May our Lord Jesus encourage us with this truth today!
Your friend on the journey,
Lori

THE KING'S SHEPHERD said...

I wrote,"No matter how great we think our son is, He will always love us!"
This is supposed to say....
"No matter how great we think our sin is, He will always love us!"

THE KING'S SHEPHERD said...

I pray you are doing okay Babz!
Love,
Lori

Babz said...

Lori, I'm feeling better about things. There's just this dark hue surrounding me. I ask for your continued prayer, please. Yes, you are right, I do feel my sin is so great. Yet, at the same time, part of me says that God understands why, I've done what I've done and it is Satan who makes me so very ashamed. None the less, I do feel wrong and dirty and such a sinner. I just pray that God protects me through this, I need it badly. I have taken some rash steps, ones I will pay for, for a long time. But I have also taken steps to try to rectify, to some degree. Life truly sucks right now and I just want to rise up from this dark and dingy place, I feel trapped in. My joy is gone, the smile has been wiped from my face and I just want it back. Yes, please continue to pray for me? I can not tell you how much it means to me and I ask God to bless you for your efforts. Thanks my friend.

Babz

THE KING'S SHEPHERD said...

I am sorry that life really sucks right now Babz. I really am. I absolutely will continue praying for you.
Love,
Lori

Babz said...

Lori, you have been a diligent and kind friend. Surely God will reward you for your efforts. I pray for your blessings. Thanks, my friend and sister in Christ.