Monday, September 10, 2007

My Prayer

Lord, I have struggled.
I had a huge fight with my little sister. I said some mean things, things I wish I could take back. I ask for forgiveness.
I thought I'd come so far, especially with my temper. Satan, you did not win the war, only a battle.

See Satan, I realize that you've tried to destroy me, all along. But I am a daughter of God and you will not win. Don't go away mad, just go away. You'd done everything in your power to pull me under but with God's help, I learned to swim in this cesspool of my life. With God's help and a hedge of protection around me, you are held at bay.

Heavenly Father, I ask you to stay by me. Let me walk in your light, let me seek and find the truth. Yes, as painful as it might be, I want to see the truth. I ask for your strength and wisdom, to do the right thing. I do not like to live lies nor do I ever want to be called a liar. It is not easy to live life on these terms, with this pain. It threatens to consume me and I lash out. I ask for your calm assurance. I ask that you guide me, lest I fall.

I have been ungrateful and stomped my boots. I've felt sorry for myself, something I perceive as a weakness. I ask to be strong again. I have so much to be grateful for and sometimes that eludes me. I am asking your forgiveness for that and I will try harder, to do the right thing. I think you know my heart. It is not black anymore and it is beginning to heal and turn pink. I ask for this continual healing. I ask for your guidance and wisdom, to do and say the right things.

If you are to use me, as a vessel of your truth, allow me to see it clearly and repeat it verbatim. It is my wish to walk in your light and not lead anyone astray. I am a blunder, a contradiction. Help me with this, my Lord.

I have a foothold, in both worlds. You know this but I want to fight the good fight, never shaming you or your Name. Help me to do this, sweet Jesus. Have mercy on me now. Have mercy on my sons, as they do not know what they do. Place it upon my heart, to realize the wrong I have done. Forgive me for it, allow me time to learn from it and help to make it right. They are lost souls. I did a lot of damage. Give me the time, to fix it, try to make it right again and bring them back to you.

It weighs on my heart, all this sin, guilt, shame. Allow me to rise above it, do not allow it to consume me. Let me know, that you have forgiven me. Give me the time, to do your will, your work. Direct my cause, direct my words, my writing, my answers. Do not allow me to lead them astray. Show me Your words.

Take my life and let it be righteous. You allowed me to go through so much, for what reason? You allowed my pain, to be seen by many. Let them see me overcome this pain.

Let me always hear the voice of the Spirit. That small still voice, let it be heard, to guide my way. I ask all this in Jesus Name. Amen

3 comments:

THE KING'S SHEPHERDS... said...

Hi Babz,
Once again, I appreciate your realness with our Lord.
Your post made me think of something my hubby has said to me before, "Sometimes the Lord is most glorified when our weaknesses are revealed, because it shows His strength and His grace."
I hope this encourages you as it has me.

THE KING'S SHEPHERD said...

Hi Babz! How are you?
Love,
Lori

Babz said...

King's Shepherd, Howdy Lori, How are you? Friendship such as this, even though we've never met, do burn bright.
Love Back @Ya!