Friday, August 17, 2007

So Grateful

It occurs to me, that I have just so much, to be grateful for. How easy it is, to look for the bad or the problems and not the good? I don't understand it or why we tend to search and find things to belly ache about but we sure do it. I am often guilty, of this, myself.

As I lay there, praying at night, I realized that I am the fortunate one. Yes, I've lived a hard life but I learned from it or I'd like to think I have. I realized that I've never ran the streets naked, I've never really gone truly hungry and even if it wasn't luxury, I'd had shelter, over my head.

Even bigger than that, I've seen so much hurt in pain, especially in the eyes of parents, who'd children are really sick. I've been spared that, a pain I feel I could not endure. Yes, God has been good to me.

I've often been an ungrateful brat. I stomped my feet at God or more than one occasion and have not always been, a good daughter. But I feel his love and the more I look for the little things to be grateful for, the more I find.

I went to the Doctor's on 7/17 and disliked this woman from the start. I felt she'd not heard me, was impatient, seemed busy and pretty much, didn't care about me or my symptoms. My problems, especially the pain, threaten, often times, to pull me under. It is my pain, which launched me into the abyss of addiction. I must admit, it scares the hell out of me. So, I went to this pain specialist and felt a cold hard slap in the face or so it seemed. She seemed so abrasive.

I had to go back on 8/14 and did not look forward to it. See, I have the ability to think like a criminal and behave like a criminal. I have, in the past, took care of my pain, with drugs and drinking, the heck with Doctors, I could get them illegally, almost easier. But I'm trying to live my life, in a legal realm, think legally, behave better. I prayed that God would warm this Doctors heart. I prayed that this Doctor would hear me and help me. I felt I was at the end of the road, one step from falling.

Her demeanor, was as if she were a different person. This Doctor even asked me how I was feeling. She seemed genuinely concerned and willing to listen and help. God had changed her. I mean it was such a complete turn around, nothing short of a miracle. God is good, huh?

Tomorrow, I leave on my first vacation, actually, the only vacation, I can remember. I will fly into Pittsburgh, where my oldest son, will pick me up. He will then, take me to his home and I'll visit till Wed. Then, he'll drive me tow hours away, to Jamestown, N.Y. so I can visit, my other son, his wife and my two Grandbabies. Wed. night, we have reservations for10-15 people, who will meet us at my favorite restaurant and I'll get to see, my other granddaughter and great granddaughter, family and friends.

So much to be grateful for. Thank You Lord!!



Babz! How wonderful that you are getting to visit your sons and your grandchildren! It is awesome to see your excitement! I am very happy for you! I pray that this trip is a great time for all of you! Yay!

Sir Kreshnik said...

Hope your vacation is safe and you enjoy every part of it. Blessings like this one always provides ever lasting memories.
Big Hugs

Babz said...

King's Shepherd, thank you so very much. I'm home now, renewed in spirit. I had such a wonderful time, my face hurt from smiling, my belly ached from laughter. It does not get any better than that. It was a gift, a true gift. Thanks and Hugz!

Babz said...

Sir Kreshnik, I thank you. I had so much fun, ate so much, it's not funny. I went down @144 lbs and came back @147. Ouch but I'd do it again, in a heart beat. See, this was nothing short of a miracle and nothing but good came from it. Yes, the memories will sustain me. Hugz!!


Hi Babs! Its seems like it has been so long since I have last written. I am so glad that you had such a wonderful time! Yay! I hope that your spirit is still feeling renewed!

Ask Aunt B said...

Lori, thanks so much. It was a wonderful time. It did leave me in longing, pining for my sons. It also gave me incentive though, maybe I'll move a mountain to get where I need to be; by their sides.

Thanks again girlfriend, good to hear from you and I hope you are well!

Babz said...

King's Shepherd,thanks so very much, really! It made it relevant in my mind, that I need to be close to my sons, at all costs.I will do what I have to, to get back where I was, closer to them. They need me and I need them. My grandkids need me. Nothing is more important than family. It's so lonely in this world. We may take comfort in two things only; God and family. I realized this, on the trip.
May blessings find you, my friend!