As the Bible tells us: "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)
"Joey Salvati, a father of two from New Kensington, Pennsylvania, wants to help you raise your children into moral, responsible, Christian adults. A carpenter by trade, Salvati has designed two wooden spanking paddles. You can choose which device better fits your needs at his Web site, Spare-rods.com. With the purchase of each paddle Salvati even throws in a guidebook detailing the number of swats each violation might merit: one for disrespectful behavior, two for cursing, three for cheating or lying. He offers advice for the demeanor of the parent as well: "Use [my paddles] lovingly and NEVER in anger."
"Spare the rod, spoil the child" has long been invoked by Christian parents as a foundation for proper child raising. The concept does indeed have a biblical grounding. The book of Proverbs instructs, "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him properly." Then again, the Old Testament suggests other guidelines for meting out punishment - stoning to death a woman caught having sex outside of marriage, for instance - that we today consider barbaric."
I was raised in a home where the spare the rod, spoil the child thinking was in motion. This has been on my mind, since I answered a question on my Advice Column, "Ask Aunt B," namely, this post, "Forgotten Roster of Reason." I never want to hinder someone's growth and I try to stay away from "Religious" matters. I am spiritual and you just can't contain that. But I would surely hate to steer anybody wrong. I pray for wisdom, before I answer any question and I now pray for that wisdom, lest I say or rather write the wrong thing. But this whole Corporal Punishment thing, has weighed heavily on me. I am a proponent for spanking. A spanking to me, does not bruise, cut, break the skin and is nothing permanent less, a correction of the soul. I have a real aversion for parenting or those that do not discipline their children, in the name of a new age thinking. Of course, this is commentary but if you ask me, I can see a decline in the simplest civilities and child rearing. Even the kindergarten rules of manners and behavior have eluded us, bringing forth a generation of adults with no common courtesy. They have not been taught to respect their elders or respect for others in general. But this is not the intention of this post. I am addressing child punishment and what it means to spare the rod and spoil the child.
Would Jesus beat a lamb?
I don't think beatings do anything but instill fear, anger, hurt and hate. I think this one scripture has been misused and misconstrued. It has been twisted and taken out of context, giving license to bad people, who do bad things, in the name of God.
Many a non believer, will use this scripture, as a basis for their behavior. Many a non believer can quote this scripture but none other. I call that a matter of convenience, don't you? You can not take one scripture and only one and use it, without a well balanced use of others or even attempt at it. What I mean is this; The father quotes this scripture, as his reasoning for discipline in the home. He doesn't use it for instruction but to vent his rage. Even if he believes he is doing the right thing, without continued instruction, coupled with a loving reasoning, behind it, it is a complete abomination of that scripture.
If the Father does not teach his children, even the 10 Commandments, along with his use of any discipline and it is the only thing he does, it is a misuse of the scripture. If he does not give equal parts, discipline and love, it is futile and will only bring forth, an understanding of pain and hate.
A well rounded parent, explains the reasoning behind his discipline. I do remember a time, when I was told, "Because I said so," or better yet, "That's the way it is, like it or lump it." How is a child to learn except the hard way, unless you... explain why? Children are naturally inquisitive. When you tell them they can't or shouldn't do something, they will not learn why, unless you tell them, i.e., "No, you shouldn't touch that burner. Why? Because it may be hot and if you touch it, the burn will be so painful, it will make you cry and blister..." As teens, it gets even worse and although it may be frustrating, in order for them to learn, you must explain why.
My point is this;If you only use the spare the rod approach but do not teach about the love of God and respect, charity and faith, the basic foundation, you are not doing your job. A parent that only meets out, only discipline, is not a shining example. As a parent, you are not even doing a fraction of your primary job and are doing a complete disservice to your children. Is there anything worse than not taking your parenting seriously? I know I stand convicted on this.
More than once, I've heard a husband stand up and exclaim, "I am the head of this household and you are to submit to me." He may even thump his chest and most likely, he is also the guy who quotes the "Spare the rod," scripture. Yet, he does not answer to God, he does not run a Christian household and has taken what was, in his mind, a good thing and twisted it. It is so convenient and he is serving himself, not his God. We must pray for men, like this but how can a wife answer to this mentality? Of course, that is a whole other subject but it surely points out the mind set and behavior, the twists and fabrications of our lives today. Simply put;
If a man expects his wife to submit to him, he must in turn, submit to the Father. He must realize, that he is and will be held accountable, just as our Government is, if we honor the law, as we are told. If he does not honor the father, he might as well be a blow hard, his words are null and void and hold no merit.
Basically, parenting must come from a righteous place. If we only use portions of scripture, to our advantage, surely, this does not please the Father. I happen to believe that the Rod/Staff was used as instruction, security, counting. I do not believe it was used to beat the living day lights out of our children.
Jesus is the Great Shepherd and there are countless references to this, are there not? Why do you think, scripture has used this reference, so often? We are referred to has his sheep, sometimes, we are the lost sheep. But let me ask you, if Jesus was tending to the flock and a lamb wandered off, would he beat it, with His staff?
|NASB:||You shall strike him with the rod And rescue his soul from Sheol. (NASB ©1995)|
|GWT:||Spank him yourself, and you will save his soul from hell.(GOD'S WORD®)|
|KJV:||Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.|
|ASV:||Thou shalt beat him with the rod, And shalt deliver his soul from Sheol.|
|BBE:||Give him blows with the rod, and keep his soul safe from the underworld.|
|DBY:||thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from Sheol.|
|ERV:||Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from Sheol.|
|JPS:||Thou beatest him with the rod, and wilt deliver his soul from the nether-world.|
|WBS:||Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.|
|WEB:||Punish him with the rod, and save his soul from Sheol.|
|YLT:||Thou with a rod smitest him, And his soul from Sheol thou deliverest.|