Heavenly Father, you are my refuge and I seek your help. I come to you for answers. I seek your wisdom, I seek your favor. I am stumbling terribly. I do not want to fall backwards and that's what it feels like. I have come so far and truly need your help to continue forward. I ask you from the depths of my soul, to hear my cries. I am so close, a point of no return. I know it will alter my life, yet I am compelled. Please hear my prayer and give me strength. I am Your daughter. Who else may I go to, but you my Lord?
I have grown weary, from this pain game. Please come to my assistance. Pick me up, as I am about to fall. Only you know, why I have had to live this life. Only you know how to help me. I desire to be a good daughter but the temptation is immense and the lure is powerful. I cry out Your Name and ask for your guiding hand.
Lord, my soul is sobbing, inconsolable tears. Hear my cries. I call out to you, my Master. You are the Great Physician, I know this. You have chosen to allow me to carry this burden of pain for almost 30 years. I have struggled and need my hand, in Yours, to keep me safe. I know my capability and I need Your strength, to keep me in check. Please do not let me suffer anymore, please?
You have placed this upon me, so I may learn and use this knowledge. I do not want to live a lie or be a contradiction. I beg for your help Lord, I am begging. It is your choice to not heal me. I must accept that it is for a reason. I must choose to, as Lot did, live my life for you, even in these trying times.
He is waiting to take me down. Protect me from my enemy. I have come so far and now I know his grappling. He would much rather, I go back into the fire. I feel the heat, upon my face. Protect me, I so humbly ask you. You are my Father, the one true God, my only God. Who shall I seek, if not You? Who shall help me and guide me through the storm? I can not see, I am blinded by the pain. You must take me hand and show me the way.
I fervently ask you for an answer, my Lord? Open the door and show me the way. Keep my feet from going down the path with my enemy. He lies to me and tells me it is the answer. You have given me free will, so I will seek your face. I would rather spend eternity as Your footstool, than dine in the finest or live the grandest with my enemy.
Forgive me, my King? I have been a bad daughter and he wants to rub my nose in it. When I ask for your forgiveness, he tells me I am not forgiven. He wants to destroy me, I can tell. Forgive me and allow me to heal. Please forgive my children and their children, have mercy, upon them. Forgive them, for they know not.
I seek you, my God, I cry out Your Name. Do you hear me, Lord? Please help me and save me from all this. Insist that Your Angels are placed around me and mine, with protection from our enemy. Take these terrible ideas from me and show me the way. Walk me through it and show me the path, where you want me to go.
Hear my prayer to you, my Master. I ask all this in Jesus Name. Amen