Tuesday, June 19, 2007

My Prayer

Heavenly Father, you are my refuge and I seek your help. I come to you for answers. I seek your wisdom, I seek your favor. I am stumbling terribly. I do not want to fall backwards and that's what it feels like. I have come so far and truly need your help to continue forward. I ask you from the depths of my soul, to hear my cries. I am so close, a point of no return. I know it will alter my life, yet I am compelled. Please hear my prayer and give me strength. I am Your daughter. Who else may I go to, but you my Lord?

I have grown weary, from this pain game. Please come to my assistance. Pick me up, as I am about to fall. Only you know, why I have had to live this life. Only you know how to help me. I desire to be a good daughter but the temptation is immense and the lure is powerful. I cry out Your Name and ask for your guiding hand.

Lord, my soul is sobbing, inconsolable tears. Hear my cries. I call out to you, my Master. You are the Great Physician, I know this. You have chosen to allow me to carry this burden of pain for almost 30 years. I have struggled and need my hand, in Yours, to keep me safe. I know my capability and I need Your strength, to keep me in check. Please do not let me suffer anymore, please?

You have placed this upon me, so I may learn and use this knowledge. I do not want to live a lie or be a contradiction. I beg for your help Lord, I am begging. It is your choice to not heal me. I must accept that it is for a reason. I must choose to, as Lot did, live my life for you, even in these trying times.

He is waiting to take me down. Protect me from my enemy. I have come so far and now I know his grappling. He would much rather, I go back into the fire. I feel the heat, upon my face. Protect me, I so humbly ask you. You are my Father, the one true God, my only God. Who shall I seek, if not You? Who shall help me and guide me through the storm? I can not see, I am blinded by the pain. You must take me hand and show me the way.

I fervently ask you for an answer, my Lord? Open the door and show me the way. Keep my feet from going down the path with my enemy. He lies to me and tells me it is the answer. You have given me free will, so I will seek your face. I would rather spend eternity as Your footstool, than dine in the finest or live the grandest with my enemy.

Forgive me, my King? I have been a bad daughter and he wants to rub my nose in it. When I ask for your forgiveness, he tells me I am not forgiven. He wants to destroy me, I can tell. Forgive me and allow me to heal. Please forgive my children and their children, have mercy, upon them. Forgive them, for they know not.

I seek you, my God, I cry out Your Name. Do you hear me, Lord? Please help me and save me from all this. Insist that Your Angels are placed around me and mine, with protection from our enemy. Take these terrible ideas from me and show me the way. Walk me through it and show me the path, where you want me to go.

Hear my prayer to you, my Master. I ask all this in Jesus Name. Amen

9 comments:

THE KING'S SHEPHERDS... said...

Babs,
I love that you share your heart with us like this. Like I have mentioned before, I love your realness. Hope you had an encouraging day today.
Love,
Lori

Babz said...

King's Shepherd, I'm in a state of pain and panic. I thank you for your encouraging words. They mean a mint.
Big Hugz

THE KING'S SHEPHERDS... said...

I am so sorry to hear that Babz.

Father God, as You know, Your daughter Babz is dealing with a lot of pain and panic. Father, I pray that You would give her the grace and strength that she needs. I pray that You would take this panic away and replace it with a sense of calmness and peace. And this pain Lord, I pray that You would take it away. Thank You Lord for her faith even in the midst of all of this. In Jesus name, amen.

Babz said...

King's Shepherd, so very kind of you.Tomorrow, it'll be 9 years, clean from heroin. The adversary chooses to tempt me, so I may ruin it. I ask for your continued prayers. I've come so so far. Thanks, my friend.
Hugs

THE KING'S SHEPHERDS... said...

Babz,
That is amazing that you have been sober from heroin for 9 years! Congratulations! Wow! I am sorry that you are dealing with this temptation. I pray that you have a strong support system to come around you and continue to encourage you. I will definitely be praying for you in this Babz, and I appreciate you sharing this. Let me pray for you right now.
Father God,
I thank You for Babz and how You have drawn her to Yourself and done wonderful things in her life like keeping her sober from heroine. Lord, she needs Your strength right now as she deals with temptation. I pray that You would take any desire away from her to want to go back to drugs. I pray that You would guard her mind from Satan's lies. Thank You Lord that she doesn't have to do this alone, but You are right there with her. In Jesus name, amen.

Babz said...

King's Shepherd, you brought tears to my eyes. Thank you, so very much for praying with me. Yes, I do need it. Thank you!

Such Big Love!

THE KING'S SHEPHERDS... said...

Babz- "Happy Anniversary" a day late. I had hoped I would get to tell you yesterday. How are you? Thinking of you!

Babz said...

King's Shepherd, I am floating along. How are you? Thanks for the Anniversary wishes, much appreciated.
Blessings to You!

THE KING'S SHEPHERDS... said...

Hi Babz,
I am doing pretty well. Thanks for asking!