Thursday, November 16, 2006

AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS/I WAS THERE!!

I Corinthians 14:2-20


It came to me when I was about 13.
Every Friday night, we went to Georgetown University, D.C., for their Born Again Christian Fellowship. This was during the Charismatic Movement of the 70's, the Auditorium was always packed with hundreds of people. I was a new believer as far as being born again. I'd had a strict Catholic upbringing but it left me empty and felt impersonal in many ways.

In that room, came a heavenly sound, like no other. During that Service/Meeting, a good portion of those in that room began to pray in tongues. It then became almost lyrical, musical and I've never, ever heard anything like it since.
They say that speaking in tongues, is a gift and I prayed for this gift. They also say, that it is a language only God can understand, unless you have the gift of Interpretation. I also believe that, my prayers can not be hijacked by Satan/HaSatan, when I pray in tongues and the prayers come straight from the depths of my soul. I don't know about you but Satan often attacks me while I pray. Or he distracts me with noise and I seem to be only going through a ritual, not really feeling my prayers and communing with God. But it's been a long long time, since I prayed in tongues and I don't know why?

True Pain

After reading my own post on praying in Tongues, the scientific and medical aspects of the unexplained, the brain during prayer in tongues, I lay there in my bed, before sleep, praying. Most times, I fall asleep praying. I've not had the constant nightmares I used to have, since I adopted this prayer time before slumber.
I am plagued with worry, most often, about my Granddaughter, Kassandra. She has Cystic Fibrosis. I've not seen Kassandra since she was a toddler. Back then, they had to beat her in the chest, back and sides with this cookie cutter looking thing. It was made of a hard foam, similar to something you would cut out biscuits with and it had a handle, to hold between your fingers. Kassandra would just cry, every time this was done and then just sob. The mental picture, of her sobbing, tears rolling down her little cheeks, rocks me to this day. That is the picture I get most nights as I begin my prayers and once again ask God to just allow her to breath one more night.

At The Foot Of The Cross

I covered up, settled in, distracted but was really trying to pray so I could go to sleep. I really didn't want to think any more that night. Something, my Spirit suggested praying in tongues. It enveloped me. I was tired as I crawled into bed but my Spirit woke right up. I stopped thinking and just let it go. My mind went blank but yet I was hearing myself steadily praying in tongues. My mind blackened. Suddenly, in my mind, I was at the foot of the cross. It was so real and I could feel loose dirt on my knees, I could even smell it. I knew where I was and I looked up and saw my Lord hanging there, caked in blood, he raised his brow at me. My tongue was praying so fast and suddenly I began to sob.I actually fought not to cry so hard but could not control it. It was as if I had a death in my family, that was the pain I suddenly felt, that, untouchable pain and I knew I was sobbing for my Lord. I tried to look at Him and I could not bear to look. The suffering was too much to look at, the pain was too much to bear. Then, the correlation was completely clear to me and a calm began to set back into me. I realized that I had actually had a death in my family. It was my Lord and he had died for me. We hear and say those exact words, all the time. But I felt it. I was there and I was in mourning. Are you hearing me? I was there at the foot of the cross and I knew he was up there for me. It was a personal death, just for me, not in a selfish way but I could feel and I knew the importance and magnitude of his death and it was for me.
I cried myself to sleep. At the same time, it was a huge release and a huge understanding of the immense meaning of my Lord dieing for me. I also understood the sacrifice of my Father for allowing his son to take on the weight of sin, the weight of the world. God could have easily obliterated the world but he chose to allow his son to die for me. For me! I can't really explain it all but I now know. Yes, I know. Pray for your gifts. I want you to have this too!


I Corinthians 14:2-20

2For anyone who speaks in a tongue[a] does not speak to men but to God. Indeed, no one understands him; he utters mysteries with his spirit.[b] 3But everyone who prophesies speaks to men for their strengthening, encouragement and comfort. 4He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself, but he who prophesies edifies the church. 5I would like every one of you to speak in tongues,[c] but I would rather have you prophesy. He who prophesies is greater than one who speaks in tongues,[d] unless he interprets, so that the church may be edified.

6Now, brothers, if I come to you and speak in tongues, what good will I be to you, unless I bring you some revelation or knowledge or prophecy or word of instruction? 7Even in the case of lifeless things that make sounds, such as the flute or harp, how will anyone know what tune is being played unless there is a distinction in the notes? 8Again, if the trumpet does not sound a clear call, who will get ready for battle? 9So it is with you. Unless you speak intelligible words with your tongue, how will anyone know what you are saying? You will just be speaking into the air. 10Undoubtedly there are all sorts of languages in the world, yet none of them is without meaning. 11If then I do not grasp the meaning of what someone is saying, I am a foreigner to the speaker, and he is a foreigner to me. 12So it is with you. Since you are eager to have spiritual gifts, try to excel in gifts that build up the church.

13For this reason anyone who speaks in a tongue should pray that he may interpret what he says. 14For if I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays, but my mind is unfruitful. 15So what shall I do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will also pray with my mind; I will sing with my spirit, but I will also sing with my mind. 16If you are praising God with your spirit, how can one who finds himself among those who do not understand[e] say "Amen" to your thanksgiving, since he does not know what you are saying? 17You may be giving thanks well enough, but the other man is not edified.

18I thank God that I speak in tongues more than all of you. 19But in the church I would rather speak five intelligible words to instruct others than ten thousand words in a tongue.

20Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.

Footnotes:

  1. 1 Corinthians 14:2 Or another language; also in verses 4, 13, 14, 19, 26 and 27
  2. 1 Corinthians 14:2 Or by the Spirit
  3. 1 Corinthians 14:5 Or other languages; also in verses 6, 18, 22, 23 and 39
  4. 1 Corinthians 14:5 Or other languages; also in verses 6, 18, 22, 23 and 39
  5. 1 Corinthians 14:16 Or among the inquirers



11 comments:

shane said...

so far, i am denied this. i try to believe that the kingdom is within, and the kingdom is without. in this time, it is hard to see. so i believe by faith.

shane said...

your site looks good.

Babsbitchin said...

Shane, it was no ritual. I was praying and I asked for this gift because all my life, I've been attacked during my prayers, viciously attacked.
I was quiet, my spirit was quiet and it began to roll off my tongue. A belief that it is a good thing is the first step. We have to believe that the Bible and it's Word is as real today as it was long ago and every word in it. Pray and just let it roll off your tongue.
The odd thing is... for years I said one word, often throughout my prayers. Guess what? That word was Aramaic.

Lil said...

I only want to say that every gift of God is wonderful.

Babsbitchin said...

Lil, yes you are so right. Sometimes, we take things for granted as I've been guilty of in the past and maybe even the future. I appreciate your comment at this very moment, when I needed a reminder. See, God does work in mysterious ways, doesn't he?

shane said...

faith is good. it's all i have right now.

Babsbitchin said...

Shane, it's the only thing that sustains me too. I walk around and I try to laugh but I am in turmoil right now. My only hope, my faith is that I will come out of this, all this, my life victorious in the name of our Lord. I am torn every day. Push and shoved, pulled apart riddled with pain. I have to rejoice, I have to have faith. It is all I have left too. Let it be seen by our Lord that we need him in this very hour. Let him choose to bless us and let it glorify his name. I am not a fanatic but I know what I know, what I have seen. He is so real, he needs only to say it is so. I invision touching his garmet, which would be strictly forbidden in the Jewish faith for a woman to dare touch his fringe. But my faith dictates that I need only to touch it ever so slightly, ever so slightly, only he knows. He will shine on us Shane, he will.

shane said...

i hope so.

Babsbitchin said...

shane, my life is on the line. It will be!

shane said...

yeah mine too.

Babsbitchin said...

Shane, We'll agree in prayer that God will reveal a plan for us, one that will glorify his name and we'll pray for patience, to see us through, right?
(((HUGZ)))