Tuesday, October 31, 2006


We play with Halloween and Satan. He is not a harmless Boogieman, he is very real...

It occurred to me, as I watched the history of Satan / HaSatan, on the History Channel, that my life, my quest, my destiny was much like Job from the Bible. Ever had one of those,"Ah Ha," moments? This was one of them for me.

As a child, I was extremely religious. As a child, I was extremely aggravated by Satan. I developed a criminal mind at a very young age. I do believe I was always mature for my age but I was diabolical and used my intelligence for the wrong side. Thank you Satan for trying to ruin my life, you almost succeeded.

Satan was in my life from the gate. He planted people and situations in my life, all along. The police even told me, upon my arrest, that what I'd done was extremely intricate and intelligent. The DEA offered me time off of my sentence, if I told them how I did things. They said if I'd used my "smarts for good, I could be a rocket scientist." I'm not glorifying what I did, don't get me wrong, I am simply pointing out just how powerful Satan is.

There was a time in my life that I even wanted to be a nun. Not realizing the power of Satan in my life, when I could no longer be a "good girl" and please my family and believe me I tried, I chose to be "really good at being bad." I was a true professional at that. Satan aided and abetted me the whole time. He gave me ideas and I did things most people would never dream of doing, much less a woman. I had no fear and what little fear I had, I would face head on, except the one thing I feared the most; God. I ran as hard and as fast as I could from God in my head. I tried my very best to shut up my spirit/conscience and often succeeded. Drugs were real good at shutting it up, along with emotional and physical pain. I became an addict with the very best of them. Heroin is the word, the name that calls me and haunts me everyday.

He lied, cheated and stole from me. Satan did his very best to kill me. I have Hep C and he's already taken my husband from me due to Hep C. He'd love nothing more than for me to sidle up to him and take that backwards step, into addiction, into the abyss that exists for some of us.

But guess what Satan? I am onto you. I am a Warrior and I can smell you when you come into the room. Be gone from me and my family in the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. Yes, I will praise his name all the days of my life. I will utter His name, Yeshua upon my dieing breath. You have lost, move on!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006


This is by far, the most thought provoking thing I needed to read today. Thank you Mom for sending it. Thank you Yeshua/Jesus, for opening my heart to understanding!

Billy Graham and Oprah

Last year I watched Billy Graham being interviewed by Oprah Winfrey on
television. Oprah told him that in her childhood home, she use to watch him
preach on a little black and white TV while sitting on a linoleum floor.

She went on to the tell viewers that in his lifetime Billy has preached to
twenty-million people around the world, not to mention the countless numbers
who have heard him whenever his crusades are broadcast. When she asked if he
got nervous before facing a crowd, Billy replied humbly, "No, I don't get
nervous before crowds, but I did today before I was going to meet with you."

Oprah's show is broadcast to twenty-million people every day. She is
comfortable with famous stars and celebrities but seemed in awe of Dr. Billy

When the interview ended, she told the audience, "You don't often See this
on my show, but we're going to pray." Then she asked Billy to close in
prayer. The camera panned the studio audience as they bowed their heads and
closed their eyes just like in one of his crusades.

Oprah sang the first line from the song that is his hallmark "Just as I am,
without a plea," misreading the line and singing off'-key, but her voice was
full of emotion and almost cracked.

When Billy stood up after the show, instead of hugging her guest, Oprah's
usual custom, she went over and just nestled against him. Billy wrapped his
arm around her and pulled her under his shoulder. She stood in his fatherly
embrace with a look of sheer contentment..

I once read the book "Nestle, Don't Wrestle" by Corrie Ten Boom. The power
of nestling was evident on the TV screen that day. Billy Graham was not the
least bit condemning, distant, or hesitant to embrace a public personality
who may not fit the evangelistic mold. His grace and courage are sometimes

In an interview with Hugh Downs, on the 20/20 program, the subject turned to
homosexuality. Hugh looked directly at Billy and said, "If you had a
homosexual child, would you love him?" Billy didn't miss a beat. He replied
with sincerity and gentleness, "Why, I would love that one even more."

The title of Billy's autobiography, "Just As I Am," says it all. His life
goes before him speaking as eloquently as that charming southern drawl for
which he is known.

If, when I am eighty years old, my autobiography were to be titled "Just As
I Am," I wonder how I would live now? Do I have the courage to be me? I'll
never be a Billy Graham, the elegant man who draws people to the Lord
through a simple one-point message, but I hope to be a person who is real
and compassionate and who might draw people to nestle within God's embrace.

Do you make it a point to speak to a visitor or person who shows up alone at
church, buy a hamburger for a homeless man, call your mother on Sunday
afternoons, pick daisies with a little girl, or take a fatherless boy to a
baseball game?

Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful you look when you're looking for
what's beautiful in someone else?

Billy complimented Oprah when asked what he was most thankful for; he said,
"Salvation given to us in Jesus Christ" then added, "and the way you have
made people all over this country aware of the power of being grateful."

When asked his secret of love, being married fifty-four years to the same
person, he said, "Ruth and I are happily incompatible."

How unexpected. We would all live more comfortably with everybody around us
if we would find the strength in being grateful and happily incompatible.

Let's take the things that set us apart, that make us different, that cause
us to disagree, and make them an occasion to compliment each other and be
thankful for each other. Let us be big enough to be smaller than our
neighbor, spouse, friends, and strangers.

Every day, may we Nestle, not Wrestle!

Thursday, October 19, 2006


This prayer was sent to me by a dear friend. It touched my heart and made me think!

Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear.
Open our hearts not to just those that are close to us, but to all humanity.
Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

(Courtesy of Cat Lambe)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

My son Waylon is doing very well. Thank you Lord. Waylon has led a rough life and not had a real break all along. Some of it he brought on himself, he gets that from me. Some was slung at him, the cards he was dealt. So, I welcome and am grateful for the blessings he has received. I think God had his hand upon him and he's learned from a lot of it. It has shaped him into the man he is today.
You may remember he was stuck in Georgia, had been having seizures, had no money or food.
I cried out from the depths of my soul and The Heavenly Father heard me. Waylon is now in Iowa, got a good job on day two, has not had a seizure since, has an apartment and all is well in his world. I could not ask for more.
Lord, I am so grateful and I feel these blessings. It was no coincidence but all within your realm of miracles and blessings. I know this and I thank you. You are truly an Awesome God!